How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 
Hey you guys im back from the world of try not to eat your friends…lol…. no seriously though… oh, by the way Maddie vampires are not magical creatures we have no magic we just eat people like you…I don’t mean to offend you but you are a food on the menu for us… everyone like you is… HeyTellmesomthing why is your msn crip leader if you were a crip leader dont you think you would have somthing better to do then chat to vampires ans vampire wanna b’s.
yuum. humans
Made that email when i was 10. Lol. Was uppsessed with the crips Sorry’s
Tellmesomething is probably 10 now.
and by the way, it is OBSESSED
jess or what ever i want to become a vampire and if you really are one your the right one to ask if there is a spell i find will it work and if you become a vampire will you still be able to love and hate and stuff get back to me soon
i want to be a vampire…. is there any vampire there?
i’ve been searchig for a vampire that will bite me.
i’m clyrol,14 yrs old.from philippines.
i’m the friend of clyrol.
Hey wats up?
HEY WHAT’S UP? IAM A VAMPIRE AND I LOVE TO BE OUT IN THE DARKNESS THE LIGHT STINGS MY EYES AND I LOVE THE TASTE OF BLOOD. IAM LOOKING FOR A VAMPIRE GUY. IN MY HOMETOWN OF MARYLAND IAM KNOW AS THE VAMPIRE CHICK JUST LIKE MY NAME SAYS. HEHEHEHE. IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE THAT WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO ME? JUST LET ME KNOW BY EMAILING ME AT: GEMINI_DOLL_BABY@YAHOO.COM OR YOU CAN CALL OR TEXT ME AT 443-365-6034. CALL AWAY AT ANYTIME.
Hey vampirechick, what country are you from??
ayoo. ayoo. sex. sex. sex. sex. sex. sex. sex. sex. sex. penis. penis. balls. balls.
Wats up?
my weiner when i see you.
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vampiredude… can u plz change me? i live in buffalo,ny, 39 andover ave, zip code 14215. i go 2 skool at 319 suffolk st. and my name is starla taylor. can u plz change me?
also i am a 13 year old girl… as of saturday april 25 and i look like…well go on myspace and search the email adress starla.taylor31@yahoo.com…nd thatll b me
I live in vernmont but i’m moving to pennsylviania.Idk I don’t think you want to be changed.Give me a good reason why I should change you?
you should change me because i’ve been researching vampires for 3 years and i understand everything i have to give up to become one.
You don’t want to be a monster like me.If I could trade it all to become human I would.
i know what i want. i’ve never wanted anything so much. ever. please. if you do this 1 thing for me i’ll be forever in your debt. please?!
Trust me starla. You don’t want to be like us. Don’t change her Vampiredude.
It’s more complicated then you think.The thurst is really bad!I don’t think you want this
you guys don’t understand… i really do want this. please. *sigh*
hey just curious…. tell me something, tellmesomething…..i get the vibe you aren’t happy as you are. i just wanted to know what is so bad. i know it isn’t as bad….no where near, but i have premonitions…mainly of my own life. it’s deja vu almost every day. i have them while i am working as well as driving, and asleep. ppl always say that isn’t real….believe me it is. what is the truth. i just joined this post, so i have not been following.
hey all…idk if my second post showed, so here it is. if anyone has any answers to my first post, email me at luciana101408@yahoo.com. please keep it minimal as my husband would probably really disgust at this. i already know how he feels. i know living a secret is hard to do.
you don’t think i would make a good vampire? is that it?
No thats not it,I just think that if I change you it won’t be what you expected.I just don’t think you want to be a monster I’m a monster and I don’t want to be.Do you want to be a monster.I have changed people before and i regret it.When i change you I cant change you back.
ok, so i have another question that is to be yet answered.