How To Become a Vampire

I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.

It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.

Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)

“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com and check out the numerous sites and books available. Just don’t fall for the “forbidden secrets revealed!!” shtick and you should be fine.

To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).

Night Vision

Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.

The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.

Dark and Mysterious

The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.

As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *

Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.

Miscellaneous Thoughts

I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.

Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.

Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) ;)

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698 Responses to “How To Become a Vampire”

Pages: « 113 14 15 16 17 [18] 19 20 21 22 2324 » Show All

  1. 489
    vampireluver says:

    where?..when?

  2. 490
    lookout says:

    hey vampire dude all of this that u are saying is true but watch out because im a vampire hunter well a demon hunter so please watch out because i think your a good one there’s like 200 more ppl like me (demon hunters) around so really watch out :]

  3. 491
    Jayne says:

    Hello All +D

    I haven’t been here for a very long time.
    How are we all?

    I am great :D

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Ibelieveiamavampireifyouwouldliketoknowmoreaddmeonmsn.

    Thanks

    xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com

  4. 492
    Jayne says:

    I think that you people should really think about asking us to change you.
    It can ruin your life.
    And you may can kill the ones you love.

    ~~~~~~~~~~

    Just think twice.

    ~~~~~~~~~~

    xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com

  5. 493
    Jayne says:

    Hmm, I seem to be spamming alot at the moment. I might as well tell you my story.

    I am in Australia, and where I live there is a small coven of 3. We all go to the same school, making it alot easier. None of us really fit in with the others.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I was the second to join the coven in my town. I was walking the streets on new years 06, there were many people about, and I was originally with my siblings, who were older than me at the time. I decided to walk home, knowing that it was only 1 block away. I went down the lane near my house. I then saw a small figure kneeling down in the gutter, so I went to investigate. I shouldn’t have. As I came into view of the figure, I automatically recognised who it was. The figure was of a male from my school, three years older. He was leaned over a large dog, just finishing it off. I screamed at the sight. He came closer, and held his hand over my mouth, he pushed me down, and bit down into my arm. I couldn’t scream, his hold was too strong. I remember waking up 3 days later, I was in a small room in a house, it wasn’t my house. After one hour, Nicoloas came in. He explained what had happened, and that he was sorry. He helped me through it all.

    ~~~~

    It was of an advantage to me that my parents were in England for 3 weeks when it happened, and that my siblings wouldn’t have cared why I didn’t turn up home.

    xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com

    ^^

  6. 494
    Vampiredude says:

    Is there anyway you can come to vermont

  7. 495
    Vampiredude says:

    I dare anybody to even try to hunt me I’ll kill them in the wink of an eye

  8. 496
    vampireluver says:

    no but i am going to Cleveland tomorrow

  9. 497
    Jayne Is Gay says:

    Jayne if ur a real vampire tell me where I live you gaybo

  10. 498
    Jayne says:

    You live in Arizona and your name is Jacob ^^
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Want me to tell you anything else?
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    You have a lovley house I was standing out the
    front only 15 minues ago ^^
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  11. 499
    Mindy Delmorsal says:

    hello vampire dude. Hmm…why call yourself that? Anyway I’m 15 and I recently met a Vampire. She is cool,but I don’t know if she is still alive. I have the last name Delmorsal Because Victor Delmorsal,a vampire, technically married me over the phone before he died. Supposably there is a loophole to kill vampires? I live in Tennessee. My friend wo’nt change me,she dosen’t want to put me threw that kind of pain. I’m accustomed to pain-sigh- Someone change me. I’m human,but love blood and the color of it. I don’t want to be this way. I want to be a vampire,I think I fit the part well. So tell me is a vampire of the night willing?

  12. 500
    Jayne Is Gay says:

    you stupid dog i hope you die bitch

  13. 501
    Mindy Delmorsal says:

    Look I’m a bitch so what, but don’t call me a bitch! And why would you? Because you couldn’t get married to a vampire? Sorry-but hey hes dead so chill the fuck out! goodbye Jayne Is Gay!

  14. 502
    Mindy Delmorsal says:

    Sorry Jayne Is Gay i accidentally thought you were talking to me. I’m sorry. I’ve been uh in a weird mood. I think I had too much of my blood this morning. HA! Oh and vampire dude please respond.

  15. 503
    Lets go says:

    Hay vamire dud i belive that u r a real vamire and if u r plzzzz change me u probably get this all the time but if u do i will do anything to repay u and u dont have to change me if u dont want to but i would be very thankful thx

  16. 504
    mandy says:

    i am serious serious about becoming one.. please.. can anyone answer my previous question and reply to meee? =x any vampires living on the equator?o_O

  17. 505
    Vampiredude says:

    Mindy Delmorsal What did u want from me?

  18. 506
    Vampiredude says:

    Lets go.You want me to change you well where do u live?

  19. I hate to say it, but many people are quite wrong on how vampires are created. “Being bitten” isn’t even close to the exchange between a fully fledged vampire and it’s fledgling. Most vampires now-a-days are created from true vampires who were BORN vampires. They weren’t changed. Today’s group of young ones are quite ignorant as well. However, I must say, the information you’ve taken the time to look over and post is most impressive. Please, do continue to post info on the research you find. It’s quite intriguing.

    If you’ve got any questions, email me
    MorganSin_Littelle@hotmail.com

  20. 508
    Mindy Delmorsal says:

    Hello Vampire Dude. I wanted you to change me, my friend. I would be ever so grateful if you did. I live in Tennessee. I rather would like to tell you more specifically where i live, but I’m a very causious person I suppose. I mostly want this so I protect the ones I love, but also I want to follow in my husbands life. I just recently found out he could be alive.-sigh-

  21. 509
    Jayne says:

    Hello everyone. I think that you should all stop begging to be turned. Its not exactly a very pleasant lifestyle. You have to feed off innocent humans or animals, which dont satisfy me. I tend to feed once every 2 days. I try to feed on humans who dont have any close relatives. It is hardest when they look in to your eyes and say, stop, please. xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com

  22. 510
    Mindy Delmorsal says:

    I don’t know what to say to any of this. I can’t protect the ones I love and one of them dosen’t want me to be a vampire. I’ve wanted to be this a long time…but I feel so stupid. I don’t know If you will kill me or change me Vampiredude. You may call me Vincilia. I don’t know if you are who you say you are. Why expose yourself on the Enternet? Do you work for anyone? Who are you? I’m not normally this nosey-but it’s hard to not be. Do you understand my hesitation? I don’t know but reply soon.

  23. 511
    Jayne says:

    Most expose themselves on the internet as they feel it is a safe way to expose who they really are. If you told any one something as special as being a vampire you would turn into a lab rat and be put on show purely for the amusement of others. ^^ xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com

  24. 512
    Vampiredude says:

    VINCILIA:Well my name is luke I am who I say I am.I only go on here for entertainment and to help people understand what it is like being a vampire.I don’t work for anyone.

  25. 513
    jaimie eltei says:

    jayne i added you on msn please accept i believe u are a vampire and id like to learn more about your life

  26. 514
    vampireluver says:

    so when are you gna change me????

  27. 515
    Vincilia says:

    Luke; I believe your words to be true. My ex- has been changed, but he has been forbidden to change me. I don’t know if I want this, because I wish not to hurt anyone. I don’t care that much anymore, but he is afraid I will die. You would’nt kill me would you? I still crave to be a vampire. Something so desirable, a beautiful creature of the night. I don’t know. They say the pain is unbearable. To be honest I’ve been through so much pain that maybe it won’t effect me as much. I am different from most people. I see pain in everything, but I know I do it to myself.-sigh-

  28. 516
    delaney says:

    Jayne. I believe that you are a vampire and i am going to ask you to change me. I have been looking for a real vampire for a very long time. Please dont let me down.

  29. 517
    Vampiredude says:

    I wouldn’t kill you and It’s really hard to be a vampire,the thurst is unbearable.It’s is alot of pain for me to change you and it is very hard for me to just bite but I know i have the restraint to just bite.I swear I wouldn’t kill you but I will only change you if you desire to be bitten and changed.So it’s up to you

  30. 518
    DecimoVencheti says:

    VampireDude: I am a vampire too and I am trying not to kill anyone, Last Thursay at approximatley 3 a.m. I coulnt take the thurst any longer and I killed a truck driver, I only wanted a sip of his blood but I couldnt take it, it had been so long since I had the blood. I just need to talk to someone that is going through the same thing that I am going through.

Pages: « 113 14 15 16 17 [18] 19 20 21 22 2324 » Show All

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