How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 
Please mail me “N/A”, your words seem to be well-considered, I would like to talk fruesti3@hotmail.com
Please mail me “N/A”, your words seem to be well-considered. mitgen@abv.bg
Hi everyone jayne i know how you feel and im sorry but only special vampires can turn you into vampires. Ive been expeled from 5 schools for getting into fights because people make fun of me cause of my skin colour and the way i act.
I live in australia and go to seaview high and the only reason i havent been expeled from there even know ive been in like 3 fights already is because seaview is like really sh!tty and have a really bad rep. And need all the kids they can get which is a good thing considering there is only like 2 more schools in my area i havent been expeled from. Gulp!
What words do you speak off?
Don’t you understand fool…
We are dead, were saitons, uptons and chlorides…
The past few weeks have been hard for me. stealing and raiding to get my own way. But that isn’t all.. i decempt four living symptons 1.)sweart 2.)liunch 3.)liut 4.)chloride of which are the elements of what is need for my final decemption!
If you help me locate these i’d very much appreiciate it!
Im currently located ts12 2ru, 22lindon road, uk…
I’ll give you my contact number “After” i locate a phone!
if you find liunch and liut id help you out a obseen amount.
Visit me at that address… “OF course that’s if you live close…”
If not i’ll give you my phone number.
Hey, princessovdarkness & “N/A” I´m gonna tell you, why I need your help and I have such a weird wish: In the age of 12 I fell very ill, my family was desperately unhappy – they thought I would die but then I survived Now I know that the disease is back At the moment it isn´t visible yet – but soon it will be – I could never tell my mom, my dad, the rest of my family or any of my friends that I will die soon – NEVER – So I have to find a way to disapear – So I thought you could help me – I would never go back to my friends or family but maybe I would be able to call sometimes – so that they don´t worry… I know it´s not a good plan but it´s the best I could find Please would anybody help me…
So what exactly do you want our help for?
hey princessofdarkness ^^^^^
i dont really get teased much..
i get into a few fights every now and then ^^^^^
and i always win =D
im stronger than most of the other kids,
even the boys ~~~~
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Jayne
xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com
Hey princessofdarkness I know this is out of the blue and I apologize for that but I am curies what can I do. ^^ so here I go when you get hert do you bleed regularly or dos it take awhile. sorry oh ya if you dont want to tell me you dont have to ^^ right and maddie what is going on you have not emaild me for a long time
Ive never gotten hurt so i dont know but vampires cant bleed because our hearts have stopped.
Princess. I am from australia as well.
I live in sydney. Call me. I would like to meet you. i am 12 years of age and i am a vampire, call me sometime my number is 8021 3885. Ask for vanya. Tell them that you are a friend. Please! I want to meet you!
PLease give me your number so i can call you. I know you are from Adelaide.
I live in adelaide. And i guess im a friend.
0450579336 but my phone is dead and im looking for my charger.
Well ive got to go later ppl.
I found my charger
Who here is a Real vampire? And if you are what are your special powers?
I dont understand, special powers…?
I don’t recall having any special powers, thou’s the fact i can use diffrent coveridge skills.
Although them skills are used for defense, hunting the prey!
All akara’s have the same power’s. as said in the “dapsanamostetamra”. we have ability’s to see further. and see as rat’s and mice do!We see in the dark and can sense sevrel things.
We have a really good ability’s to sniff out things, and our hands swell up thou giving us the ability to throw hard stainable punches!
our skin does heal , but so do humans!
It takes 1-2days for a bullet hole in the skin to heal over.!
Were talking 4-5months for a humans.
We have erractive pain. Pain of which is untouchable.
Lives beneath our skin! We call this the “tamra”
Of course we have hearts, beating hearts to generate the blood and adrenilin accross the body.!
We bleed but we bleed your blood!
Our victims blood. We do this to lower our blood level’s (Bleeding is good for us) thinking about it does make us feel of.
Therefor we are living creatures.
No powers are fortold!
We do not decempt powers… Storyies have been told
Although, i wouldn’t know.!
Fine skills
Sorry everyone but my parents dont want me to go on this site anymore or come in to contact with anyone or even talk so soz and if i do ill be in big trouble so sorry tellmesomething but that means you to. My mum and dad go through my fone now and go through all my calls and messages.
for your information people no vampire has a super power…maybe a strangth and agility boost but not much, just enough to help survive.so if anyone tells you they are a vampire and they have super powers they are wannabies.(just for your information)
Hi………..can eyone help me i hate my life ad want to be a vampire.
if anyone wants to talk my msn is shadow7422@hotmail.com or talk to me on habbohotel.com my user names are vampir3: and troy:thunder…on habbohotel(.com) not (.ca)
Don’t forget the Intelligent boost.
Hello everyone <l:]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How are we all?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Im good.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“`
And to the person who made an account on a site with my email address.
“ I swear
“ I will hunt you down
“ And I will murder you while you sleep.
““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““
~~ Don’t do it again my dear friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jayne.
Helo people (and Vampires). What u up too?? Me, I’m thinking about comitting suiside…JUST KIDDING!!! I dont LIKE my life, but I cant leave my mom when she needs me most…… I am now done complaining^^ srry ’bout that….
I want a to get to know a Vampire… I know, I weird… Soooooo…. Any one?? Are there any that live near Ashland Oregon?? I so, GREAT!!
hello my name is aimee and i am 14
i have looked up vampires for a very long time and i reali love to read and learn about them
i have a wish and i was hopeing that a reali vampire would help me out
and i dont what some fake person who thinks they are a vampire and who likes to play around to email me
so i am callen on all real vampires
plz help me as i reali want to meet you
plz add me
aimeejrules@hotmail.co.uk
p.s i am reali passionet about being a vampire
I myself dont have an antelligence boost
you know why…because there is nothing like that.
i would know ive met hundreds of vampires…no intellegence…what so ever.
but there is an energy boost, but also (adhd) a (hyper disorder) i have it…
i think iam a vamp because i am always thirsty for something and also u no how it says ur suppose 2 hav a power well a few weeks ago i dreamed that my cuzin was going 2 die and a few days later it happened i wonder if iam a vampire.