How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 
And I am drinking more liquids then normal I am getting hungry!
E-mail me at shadow7422@hotmail.com/or on habbohotel.com my names are vampir3: and jarrett:.
i would like to become a vampire myself too. do you know were i can find one.
hey jarrett I emails you but you said not to email…. So do I just talk to you on here?…
For those who don’t know me . my name is lestat de lioncourt and for 8 years I’ve been looking for vampires with no sucess so far. But I’ll never give up on my quist tel at least find one vampire that will turn me to a vampire .some people may not beleave in vampires but I do and no one is going to talk me out of it. so if their are vampires reading this. “please find me “I live in a small town in booneville,arkansas.And am about 5 foot 11 and am 18 year old youg man.I live at the edge of booneville. “the east side of booneville” …..
There is only one problem… non of us can turn you. 1:you didnt tell us the state/country you live in 2: we don’t know how. Email me cripleader@hotmail.com
i am 13 and kids at school think i am a vampire i like the tast of blood and i love the color black and a lot of girls like me am i vampire i have thes thurst isues at school
hey and if eney vamps can tell me if i am a vamp and if i have a thurst for blood
?
wait lestat de lioncourt was a character from interview with the vampire by anne rice
am I a vampire? I’m luke and I’m 15 people are telling me they think i’m a vampire. I am really cold all the time, I have a craving for blood all the time,I have amazing speed,and all girls seem 2 be drawn 2 me.
lol… Tell me something, i live in singapore… turn me….
Well I just want 2 know if I’m a vampire thats all ahaha
Yess Luke(: Youre the bestest vampire ever, as long as you promise not to suck my blood (:
thax Sam hahaha I’ll try not 2.But the thurst gets worse and worse How can I stop?
By gnawing on your mom’s chest hair. c:
WHAT?! I can’t control myself The thurst gets worse wnd worse everyday I become more tempted.I already killed 6 people this week and last weekend.I’m becoming a monster but I dont want to be.Its getting harder and harder to live my life when I have to keep it a secret.
If I were you, I would get a chew toy.
WHAT?! I need help but I can’t go 2 the doctor he’ll know I’m different and want to experiment on me.Then The world will know of my exsistance
Eat him. Make him a vampire first and then he wont tell because he is a vampire too. I say, to beat him with a hammer, lick his neck and then suck his brains out with a straw.
WTF?! I don’t understand… I can’t do that I don’t want to be a monster! If I do that then my thurst will get worse and soon I will not be able to go to school
Good Point. Have your pet goat do it.
WHAT?! I don’t have a pet goat
use your neighbor’s alpaca
WHAT?Wow this site sucks
this site doesnt suck, what sucks is that you have hair growing out of your belly button uncontrolably.
Dennis… you may email me but don’t say anything about vampires I don’t wish to be discovered to be a vampire just say… Hey whats up?w- or shadow hi because when i read my messages my sister or someone is near by reading it along with me so keep it on the (DL) okay…
Yeah *cough cough* vampire dude *cough* killed six people *mage cough!* as if
As if-_- email me cripleader@hotmail.com
What if he didd
Dude I’ll fucking kill u r u human?Cuz I’ll fucking take u andbreak every bone in your body then eat it so shut the fuck up?
Was that supposed to be a question ;D