How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 
U dnt know em. that is me
I have read alot of vampire books. I know ALL about what you guys warn us about. You say some of us aren’t ready but I know I am. If someone could change me I’d be grateful.
Vampire dude… How dare you? Talk to an elder like that? I have been a vampire for 10 months! How dare you call me a human. But it is doubtfull that you have killed 6 people. But seriously…calling me a human is offensive
I recommend yoy appolegize.
you* appolagize*
Dude seriously I have killed people before and I’ve been around for awhile and sorry I have anger problems
LOOKIE HERE “TELL ME SOMETHING”
That is wrong to accuse someone you dont even know of lying.
Im sure Vampiredude has no reason to lie aboout killing people.
Its a serious thing.
i reccomend YOU appoligize!
hi, i was wondering if any of you guys know of anyone who could change me and fast. i want to leave this world i am in. I live in minnesota, unfortunetly but i would work anything out, give anything up, you have no idea how badly i want this. txt me at 651-491-2265 or email me at teddybear1010@live.com. PLEASE
Vampiredude, sorry i doubted you brother. You should be more calm.
thanks
YO DIGITY DAWG, WANNA BANG IN THE CLOSET AND THE FLOOR
RAPE
MUDA’ FUCKA’
Sorry tellmesomething I have really bad anger problems I didn’t mean 2 snap like I did.R we cool bro?
wanna buy my alpaca, he is 6 years old, his name is Ruffus and he takes it in the butt. 100,000,000,000. Call me at 5456455
Warmblood do u really want 2 be changed? I can but I live in vermont.But i don’t think u really want 2 be like me I don’t even want 2 be like me.
I have a few questions.
1. If Mosquitos like ur blood alot, will Vampires 2?
2. I kno the twilight seiriz iz really big now, but r Vampires pissed that some one would wright a book like that?
3. R Vampires the only Magical creatures out there, or r there more?
We are cool my brother. It’s ok by the way… How do you change someone brother?
YOU HAVE TO BE A DICK WHEN YOU LICK YOUR MOMS CHEST HAIR
MADDIE
here are ur answers
1.depends on the individual
2.The twilight book really doesn’t bother me it’s just the fan because they will come on here thinking being a vampire is easy and they want to be a vampire but its hard.
3.I’m really not that sure but I’ve heard of werewolves but I never seen one
Tellmesomething
How to change someone u have to let the human drink some of ur blood or bite them which , we all know is very hard to do because of the thurst and the restraint.
Vampiredude gives me orgasms(:
I LOVE YOU ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOU ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU
fuck
luke is the bestest vampire. better than you.
OMFG VAMPIREDUDE!!
I am your BIGGEST fan!
Thax the messages hahaha I know I’m pretty sexy
Vampire dude is FYNEE and FRESHH
Vampire dude add me. cripleader@hotmail.com add add add =-)
Ok I will try to bro