How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 😉
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cripleader@hotmail.com
Hi all. Im talia. Im new here, i reckon i might be a vampire o.0
My eyes change colour with my mood and when im hungry o.0
I thirst for blood sometimes ^_^
I can see really well in the dark =o
The light hurts my eyes and i sizzle like a sausage >;l
Meheh Im 11 yrs young.
Heelllppp.
I eat your dog man.
Thankyou for welcoming me Maddie.
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Jayne <l:-D
Talia, (like i allways say) No prob^^
Tellmesomething, thanx I’m going to add u right now^^
Someone tell me,.. what are the major signs of knowing that your a vampire?
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Jayne <l:-D
Add on msn please <l:-D <<
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xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com <<
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what’s up everyone. iam so sick of all of the haters hating on the vampires. iam part vampire iam a dhampire. is anyone out there a dhampire? please respone and let me know asap, and maybe we can talk become friends.
I’m a Dhampir too, punk rockstar22.
non of you are real vampire, you all wast your time fighting about who is one, but me I am amused that people want to be like me. But it is also insulting that there are so many wannabies out there… just call out…I will find you…when you understand the initials of becomeing a vampire. because if you dont truly understand… you are out of luck…Im not so supriezed at what I am reading… hollywood has many movies on us …but… thay blow things out of perportion, thats why use all ubsesed with the idea of being a vampire. (we will now when you are ready)
punk rockstar22… explain your imptoms…please…
Jayne when I was little I was just like you, but sadly this is just a normal phase that we children go through. Lack of sunlight causes our hair to change color, and the fact that you can see in the dark may also be a factor to that. Eye colors do change, from dark to light colors or the opposite because our bodys always change during time. And the voices are odd things that happen to me too, but that I can’t explain for…
peace
I mostly can’t explain the voices, but it may be a long shot to say that we are little mind readers lol and sorry about the dazing off, I had a long day -_-
I am not sure how long ive been one, but when i was 8 I woke up to a shadow and a voices, since then ive been temted to eat my family a couple of times…but it is easyer to resist eating family because my blood is geneticly from them…i am now 15 as of july,29,2009…but today as i am typing this is feb,27,2009…i am still 14 but i think ive been half vampire ever since that dark knight of those voices.
i live in sault st. marie ontario canada…my name will not be reveald but i do go to korah high school…(do I know you?)
there is no cure…sadly i scare off most girls i go out with in fear of infecting them. if there is any vampire females out there i am calling you out…feed with me…
nobody in my school suspects me…i am like a ghost but visable…
will a female vampire please give me there msn so we can talk and maybe even become friends…or more…
to contact me add me to msn at shadow7422@hotmail.com and leave a message saying w-shadow.com
why is noone responding? does anyone even go on this thing?
decling the application of becoming a sudden soul is something to be most feared!
I myself am affraid of strange but peculier things of which have happend in the past!
I was once a little boy sudden to serenity.
Walking the streets of Île-de-France.
pain and mischief brought even the slightest Cut to my skin.
immune wasn’t the word to be described. i was more Immune to pain and other various spins.
through the years of hard labour during the war. i trained my mind to work itself up, to become more powerfull to hard-eating diseases such as typhoid and scurvy. training these up would prevent me from dieing a slow and painfull death,Although none of these were goin to slow my tracks down. i kept on walking …… days and nights….. finding out why i was immune to these diseases. i was tortured watching young boys whiped and slit until they could no longer deduce blood throughout there system!
I was young and hopeless!
That’s when i met someone, very peculier and strange. he brought me up like a normall family would!
7Years ahead… he left me to rot and die under the rift of earth itself.leaving a hopeless 14year old boy alone in on the moors, on the outskirts of the vital river.
i embarked on a new mission to discover new and indemidate ways of living!
And now i live on… 75years ahead of wondering why he had left me out there in on the outskirts of the moors.
when you guys add me to msn just say w-shadow.com and nothing els
Hey. My name is princessovdarkness and i can tell you all you wanna know bout vampires