How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 😉
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Vampires are real. There are even murders to prove it. Some guy named paolo in italy was attacked and had all his blood drained by what was thought to be an animal but there were was a bite mark on his arm… A human bite marks.
Vampires are real. There are even murders to prove it. Some guy named paolo in italy was attacked in the eightys and had all his blood drained by what was thought to be an animal but there were was a bite mark on his arm… A human bite marks.
Well since no1is on im off and i cant believe im talking to myself. Well hopefully people are on tomorrow.
there are many of us some will drink from you by force and some acsept donors and dont attack random people. I for one have not fed for 6 years wich is not bad because i am half human also, so I can eat normal food i like it just as much…well blood still is better by far.
talia… your eyes somtimes change because they are hazel..or are they hazel…
Hey, I´m about 20 and I´m dying I don´t fear the end but the time before I´ve always been a strong, happy person and I can´t wait for getting weaker and weaker now I don´t know why I don´t commit suicide – it would be the easierst way to avoid what I fear, but I would give everything for help My life has been so perfect – Until now I´ve got everything I wanted – Now I don´t know what to do… Maybe there is really somebody who wants to help me?
human… every night befor you sleep prey that somthing good will happen..and if you die befor it happins.. the good thing has already happend…if it is your time to die…that is your happiness. your gateway to heaven, your time to flee hell.
I fear for all but live for nothing!
blood isnt my source, i don’t obtain it because i want to. i obtain it because it’s the only thing that makes me happy, it’s a deductive element source to my life. i eat fried rice.. i drink burnt dog blood!
I no longer live. i walk as in a image upon the errective souls of namoste.. i am but one Accent kasma far above feta.
Why would you want to become a vampire? Its a curse and you shouldnt want to be one. Trust me.
If any one want to talk to a real female vampire. Im your girl. Contact me on msn kelsey_flutterbye@hotmail.com
I woke up in an alley way when i was 13 and now im 17 i still look 13. I crave blood and being in a high school with 2thousand people is very hard. I try to ignore all of this but it is very hard. I have no friends so i can never talk to anyone about my “problems” i am the wierd loner that everyone makes fun of. I am italian but i have the pailest skin and black hair which makes me look even more pail. I dont remember much of the night before i woke up in the ally way except a woman all dressed in black following me.
Hi Princessvdarness … I’m Italian too. Can you talk with me?
If you want, contact me at sspitaletta@yahoo.com pleae.
I’m not a vampire, bu I would become oe, if possible.
Bye
The woman in black was vennesa, she turnes people she see’s as fit to be a vampire she travels all over the globe searching for the chosen one.
I for one am a sworn enemy of her…I tried to protect a young woman from here…now she wants to kill me, I will not allow this!…she can burn in hell!
well hello everyone.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
i actually wanted to drink this boy’s blood in my class today.
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i was so thirsty.
^^^^^^^^^^^
i thought i was going to lunge out at him
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so i told the teacher i felt sick
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com
Please mail me “N/A”, your words seem to be well-considered, I would like to talk fruesti3@hotmail.com
Please mail me “N/A”, your words seem to be well-considered. mitgen@abv.bg
Hi everyone jayne i know how you feel and im sorry but only special vampires can turn you into vampires. Ive been expeled from 5 schools for getting into fights because people make fun of me cause of my skin colour and the way i act.
I live in australia and go to seaview high and the only reason i havent been expeled from there even know ive been in like 3 fights already is because seaview is like really sh!tty and have a really bad rep. And need all the kids they can get which is a good thing considering there is only like 2 more schools in my area i havent been expeled from. Gulp!
What words do you speak off?
Don’t you understand fool…
We are dead, were saitons, uptons and chlorides…
The past few weeks have been hard for me. stealing and raiding to get my own way. But that isn’t all.. i decempt four living symptons 1.)sweart 2.)liunch 3.)liut 4.)chloride of which are the elements of what is need for my final decemption!
If you help me locate these i’d very much appreiciate it!
Im currently located ts12 2ru, 22lindon road, uk…
I’ll give you my contact number “After” i locate a phone!
if you find liunch and liut id help you out a obseen amount.
Visit me at that address… “OF course that’s if you live close…”
If not i’ll give you my phone number.
Hey, princessovdarkness & “N/A” I´m gonna tell you, why I need your help and I have such a weird wish: In the age of 12 I fell very ill, my family was desperately unhappy – they thought I would die but then I survived Now I know that the disease is back At the moment it isn´t visible yet – but soon it will be – I could never tell my mom, my dad, the rest of my family or any of my friends that I will die soon – NEVER – So I have to find a way to disapear – So I thought you could help me – I would never go back to my friends or family but maybe I would be able to call sometimes – so that they don´t worry… I know it´s not a good plan but it´s the best I could find Please would anybody help me…