How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 😉
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hello my name is aimee and i am 14
i have looked up vampires for a very long time and i reali love to read and learn about them
i have a wish and i was hopeing that a reali vampire would help me out
and i dont what some fake person who thinks they are a vampire and who likes to play around to email me
so i am callen on all real vampires
plz help me as i reali want to meet you
plz add me
aimeejrules@hotmail.co.uk
p.s i am reali passionet about being a vampire
I myself dont have an antelligence boost
you know why…because there is nothing like that.
i would know ive met hundreds of vampires…no intellegence…what so ever.
but there is an energy boost, but also (adhd) a (hyper disorder) i have it…
i think iam a vamp because i am always thirsty for something and also u no how it says ur suppose 2 hav a power well a few weeks ago i dreamed that my cuzin was going 2 die and a few days later it happened i wonder if iam a vampire.
hey everyone I’m…well honestly I feel sorta dumb saying this but…. I’ve always dreamed of mabie meeting a vampire or just talking to and getting to know one. I love to read books on them, I live in alexo tx so if any need there, contact me by email and then well get in touch through phone, I just don’t want randome people looking me up and crank calling me. No wannabes (or however you spell it, I’m not a good speller) plealse, ive dreamed of being one for a long time and am tired of dreading on the fact that I’m not. So pleese if their are any vampires, just… Please….
Sorry I meant if any “lived” there not need and my email is dbuschbaum3@aol.com or dbuschbaum3@hotmail.com or that same thing again but with yahoo instead of hotmsil.
Yeah… Maybe the boost is from puberty-_-
hey human, did you ever find a vampire?
hey im 12 and i lost both my teeth in puberty..im a seventh son i think and im really fast…am i a vampire?? (the teeth i lost where the ones that vampires have..fangs and whenever i get hurt i never cry or do anything…i broke my nose and i wasnt crying…im confused!!
7th son. Whats with that? Look… Talk to me or Any other vampires around here. email is cripleader@hotmail.com
VAMPIRES? Very interesting. I’m a asian. Curious about vampire. Turn me? So i can become one, chinese vampire. LOL
I figured out what I am! I am sooooooo happy! I am not a dhampir! I am a psychic! Awesome right?
I need to be reveled some sort of truth to vampires not just someone online that says they are real.
Hahaha
I am a real vampire, add me cripleader@hotmail.com waiting…
i want 2 b changed in2 a vampire so bad! HELP???!!!!!
Tellmesomething, Jayne and N/A i emailed you guys. so you can email me back at starla.taylor31@yahoo.com
Attention: LoneWolf
Vampires may not still live among this world…. But tell me, do vampire spirits eat apples?
Their are only two things that i’m sure someone can become. wizards & Users.
I have been trying not to feed for a couple years now i have erdgis to feed on relatives, major head aches, eating more human food wich does not help much.
if some one can send me a sample of there blood i would love that…
send blood to where?