How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 😉
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I cannot reveal that to anyone, who knows if im being tracked, i could lead them straight to me… I would not want that at all…
Hi people (and not people) ummmm… Tagt my friends was a really LAME entry.. srry..
then how do u expect me 2 send blood? if idk where 2 send it?
ok, honestly, i just read a comment that says: “i hate my life. i want to be a vampire” just because you hate your life, does not mean that being a vampire will help it any. in most cases, it might make it worse. I am a full-blooded vampire. most tease and or mock me because i have a STRONG obsession with the taste of blood. that is indelibly why i have not stepped foot in my nurse’s office. in my school, too much blood goes around so i tried to stay isolated. that is reasoning 2 why i get teased and mocked. i do not – and wish not to make any contact with mortals. if i get attached, i might end up hurting them. that happened with my ex-friend. i ended up hurting him. but, my point is, just because you hate you life, doesn’t mean being a vampire is going to make it any better then it already is. Just think to yourself that there is someone out there with a worse life then what you have. Trust me. I know this for a fact.
I for one know what you mean Sanguinarian(blood sucker) I have tryed not to feed for years and its getting harder to endure…i have sleep overs with mortal friends and am scared that i might loose them from myself…I just want the erjis to stop…and I know you cant send the blood to know where but i cannot reveal my address and surly if you do send the blood it will be cold and rotten I crave warm blood straight out of the body…I am making myself hungry as I type this down…the pain of not feeding is getting to me i cannot go through with it any longer, but I must try I cannot give up.
Over the break i am starting to sleep mostly in the day so it has become hard to sleep at night.
And I am drinking more liquids then normal I am getting hungry!
E-mail me at shadow7422@hotmail.com/or on habbohotel.com my names are vampir3: and jarrett:.
i would like to become a vampire myself too. do you know were i can find one.
hey jarrett I emails you but you said not to email…. So do I just talk to you on here?…
For those who don’t know me . my name is lestat de lioncourt and for 8 years I’ve been looking for vampires with no sucess so far. But I’ll never give up on my quist tel at least find one vampire that will turn me to a vampire .some people may not beleave in vampires but I do and no one is going to talk me out of it. so if their are vampires reading this. “please find me “I live in a small town in booneville,arkansas.And am about 5 foot 11 and am 18 year old youg man.I live at the edge of booneville. “the east side of booneville” …..
There is only one problem… non of us can turn you. 1:you didnt tell us the state/country you live in 2: we don’t know how. Email me cripleader@hotmail.com
i am 13 and kids at school think i am a vampire i like the tast of blood and i love the color black and a lot of girls like me am i vampire i have thes thurst isues at school
hey and if eney vamps can tell me if i am a vamp and if i have a thurst for blood
?
wait lestat de lioncourt was a character from interview with the vampire by anne rice
am I a vampire? I’m luke and I’m 15 people are telling me they think i’m a vampire. I am really cold all the time, I have a craving for blood all the time,I have amazing speed,and all girls seem 2 be drawn 2 me.
lol… Tell me something, i live in singapore… turn me….
Well I just want 2 know if I’m a vampire thats all ahaha
Yess Luke(: Youre the bestest vampire ever, as long as you promise not to suck my blood (:
thax Sam hahaha I’ll try not 2.But the thurst gets worse and worse How can I stop?