How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 😉
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oh… i see.. so 27.. no offence… but always.. adults… teen adults are more of like… “vampires dont exist.. its just imagination, its not real.. blah blah”
thats what i always hear from the adults.. or teen adults.. so when i see that you mention that you were married.. i was wondering if you were the same age as my friend.. young but married..married for love not for strange reasons. and happy.. ><“
i did marry for love, and i do believe in the unknown. just because it seems fantasy doesn’t mean fantasy isn’t a part of the real world. ya know?
MANDY: wat i meant by that is most teens think that everything will b fine and that bing a vampire is like in twilight but really it’s not like that it is so hard and I don’t think people want to be a monster like me.Yes it is possible to drink blood with out killing the person but it is really hard to stop because of the thurst.
Shellbe I don’t think you want to be a monster its more complicated then you think
sooooooooo vampiredude..ur gna change me?
Ya ill change you.
yea.. i know that fantasy wasnt a part of real world.. but the impossible still can happen.. that’s what i believe =]
i serious dont really think that its as what twilight show vampires to be.
but i am absolutely serious that i wanna be a vampire.
i dont am not sure if any1 would really change me..><
i dont know and am not sure if any1 would really change me ><” *
where?..when?
hey vampire dude all of this that u are saying is true but watch out because im a vampire hunter well a demon hunter so please watch out because i think your a good one there’s like 200 more ppl like me (demon hunters) around so really watch out :]
Hello All +D
I haven’t been here for a very long time.
How are we all?
I am great 😀
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ibelieveiamavampireifyouwouldliketoknowmoreaddmeonmsn.
Thanks
xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com
I think that you people should really think about asking us to change you.
It can ruin your life.
And you may can kill the ones you love.
~~~~~~~~~~
Just think twice.
~~~~~~~~~~
xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com
Hmm, I seem to be spamming alot at the moment. I might as well tell you my story.
I am in Australia, and where I live there is a small coven of 3. We all go to the same school, making it alot easier. None of us really fit in with the others.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was the second to join the coven in my town. I was walking the streets on new years 06, there were many people about, and I was originally with my siblings, who were older than me at the time. I decided to walk home, knowing that it was only 1 block away. I went down the lane near my house. I then saw a small figure kneeling down in the gutter, so I went to investigate. I shouldn’t have. As I came into view of the figure, I automatically recognised who it was. The figure was of a male from my school, three years older. He was leaned over a large dog, just finishing it off. I screamed at the sight. He came closer, and held his hand over my mouth, he pushed me down, and bit down into my arm. I couldn’t scream, his hold was too strong. I remember waking up 3 days later, I was in a small room in a house, it wasn’t my house. After one hour, Nicoloas came in. He explained what had happened, and that he was sorry. He helped me through it all.
~~~~
It was of an advantage to me that my parents were in England for 3 weeks when it happened, and that my siblings wouldn’t have cared why I didn’t turn up home.
xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com
^^
Is there anyway you can come to vermont
I dare anybody to even try to hunt me I’ll kill them in the wink of an eye
no but i am going to Cleveland tomorrow
Jayne if ur a real vampire tell me where I live you gaybo
You live in Arizona and your name is Jacob ^^
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Want me to tell you anything else?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You have a lovley house I was standing out the
front only 15 minues ago ^^
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hello vampire dude. Hmm…why call yourself that? Anyway I’m 15 and I recently met a Vampire. She is cool,but I don’t know if she is still alive. I have the last name Delmorsal Because Victor Delmorsal,a vampire, technically married me over the phone before he died. Supposably there is a loophole to kill vampires? I live in Tennessee. My friend wo’nt change me,she dosen’t want to put me threw that kind of pain. I’m accustomed to pain-sigh- Someone change me. I’m human,but love blood and the color of it. I don’t want to be this way. I want to be a vampire,I think I fit the part well. So tell me is a vampire of the night willing?
you stupid dog i hope you die bitch