How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 😉
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My family and friends might not like this idea,but I wish to be a vampire. I trust you, because I can tell by your words. I want to be changed. I live in tennessee. Let me know when you can see me,luke. Thankyou.
Vampiredude.. Could you get to Texas somehow.. Change me? please?!
DENNIS. dont be a vampire. it isnt worth it.
Why not, I’ve wanted to for about 5 years 🙁
I agree with vampp. Dennis, you do not want to be a vampire. It is not what you expect. You always feel guilt pain and regret. You will hate yourself down the track. ^^ xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com
Hello everyone. I suppose living the life of a vampire would be pure hell, but for me,I don’t think it would be possible.I see pain in everyone’s eyes and to see more pain….I could handle. What’s the point in be being human while drinking my own blood? It could kill me if I have too much.Luke I accept your willingness to change me, I will have no regrets,and that’s all I have to say for now.
Luke I hope you will still change me.
I need two things here. First confirmation vampires truely exist (my studies prove they do) and second I would like if someone anyone can please help me I need to be turned.
Trust me I do not care if it hurts I dont care about the pain, the regret. I cannot help but stress the fact that I need to be able to protect the ones I love. I do however realize how hard it is with the blood thirst but im willing to take years to train myself so i can help myself.
Please.. CHANGE ME!!!!
Email-dbuschbaum3@aol.com
Dennis and Lonewolf ^ I would change you both, but im not going to for your own good. The pain, the guilt, and the fear of hurting the ones you love are the feelings you will feel after being turned. It is an knowing that you will have to leave the ones that you treasure the most because of what you are. xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com
Jayne I appreciate your concern but I exiled myself from everyone of my friends for more than a year before. I would like for nothing more than to be changed. I need this more than you could know. (Don’t worry about my own good everyone has done that my whole life and I hate it.) But I would be willing to wait two more years until I change. Please Jayne I beg of you.
i seriously want to become a vampire.. change me…my life now is tearing me up and breaking me apart, i want to be at least happy with what i want.. i really hope i can get what i want…
Jayne please! I don’t care how bad the pain is or the guilt. I can stand it. I’m going to keep trying diffirebt sites and every thing even on here till I can finally find someone who will change me. So please jayne, reconsider.
Dennis- Wanting to be a vampire for five years and when your finally a vampire, you will regret it for the rest of eternity.
I keep calling out. I want to be this creature. I want to be a vampire. I don’t care if I end up killing someone.I want this…..
No I wouldn’t.
Jayne: If I were to wait two more years to be changed would you do it and then teach me and be my mentor?
Hi, im Dennis, ill be 15 in june and live in texas. Can someone explain to me the transformation from human to vampire? How does it work and what’s it feel like. And no matter what any one says, I still want to be changed. 🙁 please. I’ll do any thing.
Dennis and Lonewolf- I hate what I am, honestly, I do. I was forced to leave my friends and family at a youngage, and you will not know what it is like unless you get turned. My family were heartbroken when I left; I had to use so many lies. Even if you want to get turned, leaving the ones you love is the hardest part. Dennis, I would be your mentor, but I dont have the heart to change you. ^ xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com