How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 😉
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I dont think u want to be a monster
Jayne, I would be willing to use any excuse I could leave them, I need this.
I do want to be this monster. I don’t care about the pain. I want this. Please Luke or Vampiredude.
Jayne, no matter what I say or do, you will not change your mind. At all? Please reconsider.
Dennis and Lonewolf- I was forced to leave my friends and family at a young age, I had to make up many strange stories. I cant bear to think that if I were to turn you, you would also have to leave those closest to you. Dennis, I would be your mentor if you were to get turned.
But you won’t turn me, will you. Where may I find someone who would?.. If you know.
Vampiredude. I am awaiting for you. Will you still change me? I want this.
Dam i wrote the same thing twice. Scratch the second one. ^ Sorry Dennis, I can’t re consider. xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com
lonewolf, you would not be happy if I turned you, nor would you Dennis. Now, I will not be on this site for a while, I have some important buisness to attend to. Please feel free to add me on msn, as I shall be on there almost daily. xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com
1. Vampires don’t live forever.
2.Vampires exist!
3.Hi everybody xD
4.Jayne have you ever tried feeding on yourself?
5. Trust me! NON OF YOU WANT TO BECOME A VAMPIRE! IT”S A CURSE!
6.Jayne what part of australia are you from?
feeding on yourself is hard. You can never get enough! And if you drink to much it hurts!
Tellmesomething- I know vampires dont live forever, but they live longer than mortals and thats what i meant
Ok,I have an ideaI’ll send you my blood to drink if that doesn’t work then I’ll come c you and bite you
So, vampiredude, drinking a vampires blood can change you?
Vampiredude: Id like to know exactly what its like to be a vampire what are you like after the transformation?
I hope you are talking to me Vampiredude. I don’t see how you can send me your blood. Why can’t you come see me? I really want to be this…..please.
VAMPIREDUDE you are doing the right thing by not trusting yourself with people. i have killed many by trying to change them. the thurst is so strong at that time and you can never fully trust yourslf
I agree
i dont agreee… find a will.. believe in yourself.. you can really do it.. i trust my vanya darrlinqq x33 . =]]
Tellmesomething, I have never fed off myself. Whenever I am hungry, I go off and hunt strays off the street. When hunting strays, they usually have no close family or friends, making them a perfect target. ^^
xo-jayne-ox@hotmail.com