How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 😉
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look maddie ur realy pissing me off morgan has a point its ur freinds fault she should have known wat the fuck she was doing so its not any ones fault but hers and don’t get mad at vamps like u siad it wasn’t a vamp so stop acting like an asshol fyi I’m with morgan and morgan r u a vamp so for the q I get it if u don’t wanna answer it might be to personal and I have this thurst that won’t go away I drink a lot of water but I haven’t been out much I drank 12 water bottles and 5 sodas and I keep eating but I’m still hungry but I’m SUPER HOT I’ve been108 but I’m not sick can u tell me wats going on ?
Why am I pissin u off?? I dont think I did anything wrong… I just stated that i thought it was rude, 2 put lables on wat some1 thinks of some1 els… how is that pissing u off??
Morgan, you must not make a fool out of your self because ive been monitoring you from afar and u do very little with your life, i see what you do in the morning evning and at night you are not a vampire you are not close when i know that you have responded to this message, the next stranger that you see that looks you straight in the eye, it will be my best friend hunting you stalking you… watch out wannaB wise guy! we are waching you…
I would also like to say… you are all phonies and you cannot be vampires because “YES” you would not be wasting your time on this sight you would be planning you next feeding time but if not, you wouldnt want to be talking about it, it makes it harder to resist… now im starving…
Hey not avalible its me chey, why r u not feeding its not healthy… last night when we got those street bums you almost past out y cant you just feed for crist sakes.
if you dont feed with us you’lle become the same thing as vistoria…
please feed i need you in controlle of your actions… for me
as i said before Cheyanne, i cannot feed i dont know what i would do to my family if i do…
i could eat them all so dont yell at me for not feeding… i do love you but if you cant accept that then dont bother me about it…
fine… but if you go crazy, its not my fault… did you want to come over and…well you know… or watch a movie?
well.. ok.
but no feeding, if yer gunna feed do it in another room…
This is for N/A’s entry # 623, and 624
O.M.F-ING.G!!!!!!!! THAT IS TOTTALY STALKING!!! U R A STALKER!!!!
u dont have u or ur friends watching some1, even in there bedroom!! That is THE most creepy thing I have ever heard of!! That is soooo messed up!!! u could be reported 2 the police!! vamp or no vamp!!
Crrrreeeeepppppyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S
u said that only lame-o wanna be’s went on this site…. if thats true…. then…. wat r u doin here, practacly every day??!!!!
……….perv……………….
P.S
Those last entys……………. y’all r actin like ur just came out of some love sick romance movie…. its way2 cheezy….. ur killin me pleeze stop… jk
No no, maddie, this person is right…I can feel them watching me and it’s not that hard to smell a hunter after all you’ve been smelling is hair products…but, honestly n/a what do i do in the morning that you could tell to prove it? and if ur friend comes near me…..i’ll tear them to shreds………i’m not having a good month right now………too many problems that even is hard for a PURE-BRED to deal with……oh and chey….leisha says hi……
And, alexis, yes I am a vampyre…I’m pure-bred from a line that’s never brought up because of a “supposed” traitor in the line that left the clan…..It wasn’t pretty and our head clansmen was not happy by any means. He almost killed the person…..So…Yes I am……..And n/a just because I don’t spend my time plotting, doesn’t mean I’m not a vampyre…….I am almost constantly feeding on subtle energy because I’m a hybrid vampyre, half psi, half sanguinarian……
p.s. If you know so much about me then, when was the last time I have tasted blood and when was the last time I’ve ever had an actual mouthful…….answer me that question……then we’ll see who knows who here…..
Alexis, if you would like to talk, seeing as these issues are usually personal, email me…..MorganSin_Littelle@hotmail.com
and n/a if you would like to talk as well, feel free to message me as well….
Maddie I have nothing else to do during the day so thats why im on here…
and Sin littelle, my friend didnt come back yet… he hunts for months at a time, and you cannot kill himm… he can kill up to 7 of our kind at a time… honestly I dont know know what is up with him, he is the strongest ive seen yet…
Hey sin guy… who the fuck is Leisha?
n/a, samus said he might stay over there for 6 months instead of 3… he said there is lots of good tasting people…or something….
hey chey, wats up… I cant talk long im in someone elses house…lol…
how do you shut off an alarm?
lol… i dont know im not an alarm person!
why the fuck are you still in the house?… do you really wanna get caught?! were r u anyway?
i cant say where i am wat if the cops find this page in the memory of the computer or sumthing?! duh!
leave that house and go to another that is ferther away… then go back on this chat thingy…
ya ill do that ttyl…