How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 😉
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Hello everyone. I am no human, it is painful to have my friends near me sometimes and to have foriegn memories that seem slightly familiar. I’m not sure what to say. Vampire dude, talk to me.
i even see things in my dreams that happen days, weeks, and even monthes later.
but i dont know why i see these useless images and short video memories that later make no sence…
I, myself, am a vampire. I know this for a fact. I spent countless years trying to figure out why i was the eay iwas until my 16 birthday. but now its all so clear. If you want to know if your a vampire, just ask. i will tell you.
if someone knows how to become a vampire please email me at uglyhummingbird@yahoo.com im a 16 year old girl and i have wanted this for a long time i feel different from other people (and not the typical teenage different i have always felt different from people since i was 4) and i believe that this is truely for me
Listen people. I indeed can change you. but I only will change three. If you want to change so badly,go to my house. 2301 bridle gat trail sw N.M. albuquerque,off of 98 and gibson. E-mail me to keep in touch. Warning…I,am very busy so it may take a while to respond.
This is my final offer. I will never come on here again.
Farewell.
wait…does anyone know shaynen’s email address? cuz i couldn’t find it…
again, if anyone gets any info on how to change, please email me at uglyhummingbird@yahoo.com and if your wondering, no, im not a twilight fan. i actually read the first book (gag me with a spoon!) and i never picked up another. so i am not a crazed, edward-loving teenager. i have no one who cares about me (i dont want to get into the details) and i have wanted to be a vampire since i was 7 (seriously, i used to wear a vampire cape all around my house and play by myself while other girl were playing with bratz dolls). So i know for sure that vampirism is right for me…again someone please reply. thanks ☺ ☻
Just because you want to be a vampire and you’ve had a hard life, doesn’t mean that “vampirism” is right for you or anyone else who’s human. Vampyres (correctly spelled) are born the way we are. As I’ve said a million and a half times…It’s very difficult to “change” a human…It requires draining almost all of your energy from you and you would possibly die from it. However, most cases of where people want to become vampyres, they already are. They just haven’t awakened yet. I know how you feel, about no one caring about you. I’ve had it worse off than you, trust me. My clan threw me into exile. It’s not easy when you were falsely blamed for treason. Look up, on google or anywhere else, Michelle Belanger. She’s got the codex that every clan follows as “guide lines”.
hey everyone. im bored…does anyone even go on here anymore?
halloween is in 2 days. yay! im going to be a pirate…is anyone else dressing up (probably as vampyres ☺)?
I hate Halloween, the deceptive interjuice of people dressing up as a insight vitality discusses me!
However, i go clubbing on Halloween and then we all go out through the streets.
umm…okay charles if thats what you believe!
i love halloween because of all the free candy, even though 16 is probably too old to be going trick-or-treating. but i look younger than i actually am, so i might be able to fool some people 🙂
oh and the dates are all wrong on my computer ^^^^^ its not october 31, its actually october 30 at 17:45. i dont know why the date and time is all messed up…
wow charles!!! Clubbing…fun……walking through the streets….also…ah…..fun!!!
I dont mean 2 be a sceptic but I dont belive in vamps. There is absolotly NO proof that they excist. I mean, wat happened 2 the bodies of the peeps that have had their blood sucked or what ever?? srrry I just dont belive.. there is a part of me that wants 2 but that is also the part of me that belived in the tooth fairy when i was 5.
by the by… Happy All Hallows Eve
maddie in earlier posts you said that u believed in vampires…? idk im just confused
again the date and time is wrong ^^^^ its october 31st (halloween!!) at 21:38
Okay, Has anyone herd from Luke? I’m getting little worried. I’v not been on in a long time.
hi everyone again. i come on here too much, dont i? nothing else to do
ur right i did. I dont mean b offensive, but that was when i was twilight obssesed it was just something that mattered alot to me at that point. but it dosnt now.
i read the first twilight book. hated it.
so how is everybody? i am just peachy-keen, thanks.
wow i am amazed people here truly believe they are a vampire online?
shouldn’t you be out sucking blood?
oh wait you people are american???
agh! that explains it! seen any UFO’s lately?
i’m not saying that ALL americans are nuts just a vast majority
qoute:
at least 19 million Americans say they have seen a UFO