How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 😉
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hahahaha!!! That is soooooooo true!! I happen 2 b an american, but I being an american, sure we got fredom but we use it 2 kill people, n the majority of us r FAT!! hehe!!
Is ther anyone who can turn me or if you have any knowledge of some who can help plz let me know. I know what i am getting into and i want it so bad. If you can help then e-mail me at wolf1436@live.com
Turn me, PLEASE! I talked to you Morgan sin little, and you replied and all for a while, I’ve tried to be paitent, but you just kinda stopped answering me
Hello, everyone. It’s good to see more conversations up. I’m getting a little bored, so if anyone wants to talk then go to my e-mail. moonlighter_56@yahoo.com
Thank you. I would love to have a pleasant conversation with any of you.
you people who insult americans are rude jerks, because that was uncalled for. your insults are cursory and there is no need to debase others.
why does nobody come on here anymore?
by the way, thanksgiving is coming up! yay!!
so yall want to be a vampyre? yall watch way tooooo much twilight and new moon! vampyres are nothing like that. vampyres are really a myth as it stands now. and vampyres dont do anything like they show in the movies. yea we have very bad wants and needs of blood but not always human. and we dont live forever. we die and do things just like the rest of you. and the reason we dont go into sunlight is cause it basically burns our eyes alive. not that we will burst into flames. and yes the only thing they got right in any vampyre movie is that we can read minds. so yea. all you people think we dont die and we kill humans are incorrect theories.
Excuse me, miss, but you’ve got all your facts wrong, and clearly, YOU are the one reading and watching Twilight and New Moon too much. I’ve lived for over 3,000 years, and our eyes do NOT burn alive in our skulls, nor do we have the ability of telepathy, though SOME, very few if any, have it.
As for those, Dennis, who’ve waited so patiently for my answers, I’m quite sorry. I haven’t had the ability to get online for a while. I’ve been very busy and didn’t get much of a chance.
However, as for ms. lixytrix, you need to really meet one of my kin to see what we’re truly like. My career isn’t nearly as pleasant as you may think it is. If any has any questions, feel free to ask at my email without the worry of insult or offense. MorganSin_Littelle@hotmail.com
so I’m just curious…what is everyones opinions on the twilight series? personally, i hate it. its too lovey-dovey
Hello to all of u. I’m new here and I don’t really believe i vampires, but I’d want to ask you a question. How u understood u r a real vampires? Please answer me…
….I don’t like the twilight series, too……
I don’t want to be annoying, but pls tell me
Is anyone here? E-mail me- talamaska9@abv.bg
im here No name! i dont think anyone comes on here anymore except me bc i dont do anything else.
sooo…whats up? i changed my email. anyone can email me at lonelybluebat@yahoo.com
peace out!
You all vampires need to understand that for a person asking you to change him from human to a vampire, that person must have done a lot of researches. I understand that there are a lot of people who are wanna-be and will surely show off after having undergone this transformation like ‘yay! I’m a vampire!’ thing BUT there are some HELPLESS people who want help from you. I have been following these posts from a long time. Some people take you for freaks and some believe in you. I’m somehow sure that 4 over 50 among you are vampires. At first I wanted to be transformed but later realised that being a human is more like a gift than being a vampire. I have some vampire friends who are always in a state of guilt. They hate killing people but it is like a must for them. No blood, no survival. Some manage to feed off energies from humans but it is not the case with all of them. Many of them had to desert their families. Those wanting to become a vampire, you need to think over your decision again. How does being a vampire change your life? You want to possess more powers? You want to kill? Or do you want to haunt at night? Truely a human’s life is a far better one.
P.S: You can email me on shaky_shiki@live.co.uk !
hey I’ve got a Q, if u guys dont want 2 drink blood from humans then why dont u go 2 the morge?? some of the dead bodie would still be fresh n still have blood in them
what a great idea(((:
r u being sarcastic?? or is that just me??
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t….
what?? No name ur confusing me, what do u mean by ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t’?
oops….sorry i just relized that what I had just said and what I had said before sounded mean, sooo sorry.
I know this is gonna sound weird but I am going to apoligize again, I have kinda this split personality, or I just have constant mood swings, or i’m crazy and the voice in my head is due to some kind of tramatic experiance which could be due to a number of things knowing me, but the point is i am sorry if i hurt anyones feeling through-out my posts.
So wheather its due to that anoying voice in my head or mood swings i am very sorry