How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) ๐
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i have not had blood ever, but a couple drops of my own. I imagine the tast of someone elses blood would be much better, well human…
Animal blood(already had red meat from the store… animal blood is not as good as you would think) Im getting more hungry as the days pass, and getting picked on at school does not help me with that at all… I have to hold myself back alot,
and i don’t grow as fats as a normal human… Im 15 now and it took 3 whole years to be taller than my mom and she’s 5’3 now im like 5’4 or 5’5 im not sure, but I hope to be taller soon…
I WANNA BE SHORTER!!! I did shrink (with out the help of caffeine) almost a whole inch. so I started 2 drink caffeine (even tho it tastes horid) 2 help with the shrinking!! hey dose any2 no any1 who can tell u wat ur dreams mean??
hey maddie:
if u want to interpret dreams, just get a dream dictionary. they have them at all of the bookstores. i own one, myself, and its very useful ๐
N/A, ur a 15 year old vampyre?…were u born one?
Morgan sin little.. Are you actually going to do it or…. Idk.. I’ve just been tryeing to be paitint and wait for you like you said but you said a few months and well, I think it’s been alil longer..
has anyone heard from Morgan sin little lately? i havnt heard from them since december the 15th. i too am waiting however i am paitent
Ok Holton, don’t compare yourself to me, I’ve been waiting for a year so you think your being paitient, yeah ok. So don’t say I’m not being paitent.
Hey cool thnx!! Next time im in the city I’ll go looking for 1 of those
not compareing to anyone. so you get upset by any means i ight. i just asked a simple question is all.
teehee, internet arguments are funny!
i know that this is random but i feel that current events are important. so whats up with all these dying celebrities? i find it slightly humorous.
…O so tyrd!!! But O SO HYPER!!!!!!
Have u eva amagend somthing and it came true? OR drempt bout somthing n have that dream come true?? Srry kinda obsesed wit dreams, I think its cool that they sort out ur life problems, but when I start dreaming dreams where i can see, feel, and taste things like I would in the real world, n they mostly contain dead people trying 2 kill me I get a little woried!! lol
SHIT!!! I keep seeing faces in my head of people screaming!! of bodie draind of life left on the grownd!! and I see people looking at me from around a corner, but the only prob is they disapear!! Im sick and tyrd of it!!!
i had a dream 2 nights agowhere my friend and i were in a car, and he was driving over this bridge made out of stone. the bridge didnt have railings on the side, and underneath there was a river about 300 feet below with jagged rocks. my friend had some problems with the steering wheel, and the car slowly turned and fell over the side. and the scary thing was, was that it all felt so realistic because normally dreams have a sort of sureal feeling to them. i woke up when i was in midair in the car, and i was so happy to be alive! i wanted to look up my dream in my dream dictionary, but i lost it ๐
I’m sorry for being away for so long, but I’ve been very very busy. I’m sorry if I’ve made someone impatient by any means. I’ve not had much access to the internet and therefore have been unable to do much of anything at all. I’d love to say my life resides around internet, but it doesn’t. It resides on what is going on in my territory. I’ve been working to stop a war from breaking out and there’s really no diplomatic solution to it right now. Any how, how is everyone? How did Christmas and New Year’s go? And Holton, it’s Littelle (e-l-l-e). I’ve answered quite a few emails. For those who have questions, I’m going to open a blog to tell things. You can ask questions on the forums on the website. I’ll post it up when I’m done. If you need anything now, email me. MorganSin_Littelle@hotmail.com
apologies Morgan. sometimes i cant type as fast as i can think so i leave things out.
Hello everyone,
I’ve missed you all dearly. Please come and speak to me anytime. If you have questions, do not hesitate to ask.
o!! Im srry bout ur book!! that must have been a REALLY scary dream!! I would’ve peed myslef!! well maybe not…..but still!!
I hate it when that happens 2 me!! but then I find it somewhere hidden in my cloths drawer, so my mom wont find them when she trys 2 see if ive been reading at night.
ya im probably going to find my book in a couple of months, inside the bathroom closet or something.
i was talking to my friend who is a major twilight friend, so therefore they are major annoying when talking about twilight and how much they love edward cullen. and get this, they had the audacity to say that twilight was better than harry potter! how dare they! harry potter is so much better than twilight! twilight trys to be all that and a bag of chips but it cant, it just cant. do u guys like twilight or harry potter better?
Someone reply to me? I am not mean.
insertnamehere, my friend says she likes that comment of yours. ๐ Very interesting.
LOL!! hehe i think i agree wit u harry potter is soooooooo much better than twilight ๐
and the twilight movie SUCKED!!! the harry potter movie was WAY better made and it had better efects…..srry kinda got carried away^^
hi mindy delmorsal, ill talk to you!
and i am so glad that you guys are awesome enough to agree that harry potter is better than twilight.
your right maddie, the harry potter movie was so much better than twilight! there was too much pausing in twilight, and the guys had so much makeup on that they looked like drag queens. okay im done for my twilight rant…