How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 😉
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haha i agree wit u…but drag queens can b cool, my friend thinks their more like dushs in a tree^^
oh i have nothing against drag queens, i just dont think its a good look for a romantic movie about vampires
ya Im gonna have 2 agree wit u (again) I mean If u want 2 go looking fr a romantic movie I dont think its best 2 go 2 1 bout cheezy vaps in trees, n a girl who cant even take self defense classes….she dosnt even need 2 take classes, people usaly have self defense kick in when their in big do-do!! (yes I just said do-do)
ok…..Im good^^
jess im beggin you plz turn me into a vampire
whoo iz th real vampire i cant cope with the body im in im evil in the insid but i need to show tht nd the only way to do tht is to be a vampire so plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz help me i realy need this unless ur not a real vampire
hey guys
im twelve. i know a girl who wants to become a vampyre to marry robert paterson/edward cullen-lame!
however, i want to become a vampyre.is there a spell i can use without any hard ingrediants? Can someone bite me?
I live in south africa, fish hoek.
email me at sramsay12@gmail.com.
if you email me i shall assume that you know about this and understand, also if you email me please tell me how! I want to be a vampyre.I want the power and skills and the awesome physical features- red/gold eyes included. im not evil, but i can be if i must.
Help!
i am very serious……
Well, hello “insertnamehere” . I am pleased that you would like to talk to me. You may call me Vincilia is you wish. How are you? Yes I agree that I’d much rather watch Harry Potter than Twilight. They didn’t do so well on the Twilight movies, but wonderful on the books, I must say. What do you do for fun and what brings you to this website my new friend?
hi vincilia! i just came across this website one day bc i was looking up different vampire myths because i have read a lot of books on vampires and there are man y different theories about them. like some books say that vampires have to be born, others say they have to be made, and that sort of stuff. hbu? what do u like to do and what brought you to this website?
hey trevor, i know this question might seem out of the blue but…do u live in the chicago area by chance?
im real blooood thirsty
Well, “insertnamehere” I am a writer, and much of my writings are poetry. I came to this website looking for entertainment. Yes, there are many myths, but there will never be truth, my friend.
you write, vincilia? thats cool, i love to read!
the reason i wanted to know if you were from chicago, trevor, is because i thought that you were my brother (he saw me on this website so i was wondering if he came on here and his name is trevor)
so how is everybody? im just peachy
Very good blog post I like your blog keep up the great blog posts
I see, insertnamehere. Thank you for taking some interest in my ability to write. I am doing rather well, just going through some rather odd changes. Hope all is well.
If you’d like to try a free vampire game, then click here:
http://reignofblood.net/link.php?n=327598
Is it easy to subscribe to your website?
Sing low of my departure,
sweet rhymes and spices.
Sing high of my departure,
piercing shrieks and devil snares.
Sing in tone with my departure,
even and beauty.
Sing with no sound in my departure,
silent and still.
Sing of my accomplishments,
no doubt in saying.
Sing of my once shadowed life,
light and heavy.
Sing my only muse,
sorrow during my passing.
V.D
This is one of many poems I have written.
Hello my dear friends, how are all of you?
all of u are pathetic……. talking about dreams and visions, none of you have a clue wut it means to be a vampire. john for example, Vampires do Not go broadcasting theyre bloodlust like some lunatic fresh out of the Loony bin. and Trever, Ppl don’t go looking for vampires unless u either have a death wish or ur hunting them, Don’t any of u ppl have a fuckin life?
If you have a problem with wut i say here’s my email address: Determined_Wulf@yahoo.com