How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 😉
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An aching heart
The sun’s rays cannot get rid of the dark days that have been consuming the world, and swallowing the town. Taking my life, and slowly cutting it with a knife. My only insticts now, is to take off the crown and simply throw it away. As I am sinking with pain, the grey clouds will rain, slowly adding to the blame, and making me itch with anger, my soul will burn in the ashes of hell, as my insides fell. I can only tell what kind of hatred i’ve felt, and slowly fading away, my heart will decay while hoping you’d say that will all be O.K. Now that your heart have been taken away, the only thing I can say, is “Have a good day”.
Whisper
The whispering winds of the darkening path keep blocking out the sun’s violent ray.
Never more will I see the day, the light in my eyes has been shut out again.
All is warm, and still i’m not fed, the demon inside keeps my emotions dead.
I only want what it is they dread, only I be the one that falls to the floor as they bled.
Keeping these secrets stills my vision, the only way to be free is to make a desicion.
The way I choose will be smuthered in rot, but the eyes that I see, keep my thoughts in a knot.
The laugh that I hear, keep me at the sharp end of a spear.
Love is to blame, but my fear still sway’s in the wind like apples on a tree, untill they finally give up and fall 6 feet.
Love and shame, its all the same, hateing myself it sha’ll remain.
You’re heart is surrounded by the tears that i’ve cried, but still you havent seen the one who is dying inside. Hopfully I will see the day with the sun in you’re hair, and you running my way.
I’d hoped one day you would feel my pain, now together our love remains sane.
Her heart
You’ll lose your mind while trying to leave it behind, the gears in your heart will start to grind. It will hurt so much that you’ll start to go blind. The most sensative people always act like mimes, but only if they cant think of the right line. Her heart is yours and i wish it were mine. The pain is so much, its paralyzing my spine. The love will kill me, so i’ll start to die. My hopfull last words are “I love you”, good bye.
Un named notice
Diveing into a freezing cold river, the salt in the water tastes so bitter. Cant help but to swim up stream, to a place where no one can hear you scream. The icey chill of the shivering winds keeps stabbing me like pin’s, no one knows what its like, to hurt so much. Like when your stomach is tied up in knots, while the voices in my head give me disturbing thoughts. All is cold, all is dead. The demond inside wants to be fed.
Un named notice
Diveing into a freezing cold river, the salt in the water tastes so bitter. Cant help but to swim up stream, to a place where no one can hear you scream. The icey chill of the shivering winds keeps stabbing me like pin’s, no one knows what its like, to hurt so much. Like when your stomach is tied up in knots, while the voices in my head give me disturbing thoughts. All is cold, all is dead. The demond inside wants to be fed..
My apologies for now replying for quite some time now…seems that I have became very busy lately.
So, has anyone acumed a new thirst?
As in, has anyone gotten over hungry?
I have, ever since i’ve tasted my friends blood i’ve become more prone to the hunger strikes that I get when looking at a wrist or neck.
I would like to hear some stories…
…N/A? You really understand….. and.. the….. looking at wrists thing? I am prone to…..ah.. get an appitite, when i see it…. should i be telling you this?
esme, your in karate? thats awesome, im in tae kwon do. what rank are you? im a senior blue belt (where i take it, senior blue belt is the 8th belt, and 1st degree black belt is the 13th belt)
As for stories of hunger and such, perhaps you should not preach of such things. Though, since you have asked, I myself do not have a hunger issue. Human food is something I don’t desire but it is well all the same. When I look at someone’s neck or rather any part of the body, I do not instantly have bloodlust. Instaed I think of that person…how they are could be…what would happen if I just took one taste…I think before I act. I suggest you all do the same.
I do also think of what one taste would be like, I do that the instant I see the neck or wrist.
I think before I do it, I walk away or turn away untill im over it.
I sometimes have “hunger strikes”. Its when I get a random thirst outta nowhere, and it hurts if I don’t feed.
Hopefully they will not return…
Thank you, Vincilia, and N/A,I will think about that…. And insertnamehere, Jr. Blackbelt, im guessing thats 12th belt…idk but i bet you are the best blue belt ever!
🙂
You are greatly welcome Sme.
My apologies, I meant Esme.
Hmmm…seems like I need a new subject to speak of for this website.
What are everyone’s thoughts on Marijuana?
oh, bringing politics in on the conversation, eh, Vincilia? Hehe, kinda risky. Well, since you asked I think that Marijuana should be legalized. I never had it before or any other drugs (us nerds spend too much time watching Harry Potter and preparing for the next math meet) but I have heard that marijuana is less dangerous than alcohol. So if alcohol is legalized, then why not marijuana?
oh, I also meant to ask. Does anyone know why or how some people have the same dreams? for instance, 2 nights ago my friend and I had the same dream and we even had a small conversation in our dreams and when we woke up we remembered it. How does that happen? Why does it happen? Its just so weird!
My friend and I also had the same dream, we both slipped on ice the twitched and woke up :S WIERD
I Havent posted in like FOREVER!!!
well, medical marijuana is leagal, but u need a permit and permission from a doctor, i think.
as for same dreams, i had a dream that i died and cannibals pecked at my carcass. weird?
i ment to type and my friend was the cannibal in it and she had the same dream and told herself to stop and didnt and then woke up scared to death. so did i and when i called her to tell her, she said it was the same dream she dremt too! ok, now… Weird?
Ah, “insertnamehere”, I am glad you agree with legalizing marijuana. As for dreams happening in comparison with two different people, I am not quite sure that I can answer that. I know I usually have an answer for everything you ask me of, but I will look more into it. Esme, The statement you typed about marijuana is incorrect. Try searching specific ideals for the subject. I am sure you will learn more on in it. Farewell friends.