How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 😉
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I myself do not believe that people are vampires. But i mean i’m relatively open minded. You say you know you a vampire, is that the only way you know? If you don’t drink blood do you just become weak as media will have me to believe or can you go with out? I mean you also hear about vampire about how there with fangs and super strong, do you have fangs are you super strong? I mean prove to me you a vampire is what im trying to say. People believe in crazy things are you sure your a vampire. Or do you like the taste of blood. I have cut my mouth before, my blood just tastes like iron. When did you know you were a vampire
Hey, FlamE take a look at this:
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=6154446&page=1
then do your own little search, punk, you dont really know anything.
Hey i had a couple questions for Jess.
if you really are a vampire then: do you need to go to the bathroom
say im a vamp…how would i know..and dont just say subconsiously…please
do you need to take showers
have yo read the twilight series and is anything in it true…what do you think of it?
i did a little research abd some websites say that you can be turned my spells…true?
is there a way to acheive immortality without becomng a vapire?
thanx and sorry for so many questions
hey
how do you know if you are a vampire?
i mean like..i have really pale skin, have sharp teeth, have cutting edge features and like the taste of blood
i subconciously can see it to the future and im fucking not makeing this shit up and think of “random thoughts” whicj turn out to be the thiughts of the person im speakin with
i hate sunlight and am a night person
and i have an open mind and fuck yah if im a vamp but just because i have al these qualities doesnt mean i am one
and jess i heard from my friends about twilight and u read the fuckingnb ook
but srry if u didnt and u reallt are ipne…am i a vamp?
Jess I need to ask you something inportant can you email me please?
I am looking to do a bit of personal research into the idea of vampirism, and would be very interested in talking to those on here who say they are vampires. I will not insult you, disregard what you are saying, tell you to come into reality or anything that will even remotely claim that you are living a lie. I would just like to discuss various elements on this topic and Im particularly interested in talking to you Jess, if you wouldn’t mind of course?
My name is Alex and I am 21 years old, currently living in Australia 🙂 and if you could discuss these things with me, my email is xxlostone@gmail.com
Nice,
I like the way vampires think and determin on how old they are. but seriously dude’s try tiki it’s got a gorgeous flavour in it, “most vampires wont like it”
Is pain something to fear, ahaha you who fear pain is you who isnt damned by saiten.
What the hell has god done to you “Nothing” (Exept ruin people’s misreble life’s as much as it is AhHAHAHAHA)
Im currently 16 and in a few years i’ll be joining the marines, hopeing for some stuck up action in future referances.
If you find out how to turn into a vampire or maybe turn people into vampires i advise you to contact me PLEASE (Nice) darkrounge@msn.com
all you need to say is i know how to devite a mortal into the son’s of saiton <<>>
Remember Evil always wins, good always looses
Unfortunatly im not a vampire ahaha.
Im misrible and in the erg of fighting (“Try it, maybe try and concentrate on you’re adrelin rushes”)
Vampires stay clean and don’t get caught, and for fuk sake. don’t turn all these little pests into vampires. get someone who’s worth you’re while, maybe get someone to “urm” work under you.
From my prospectives most of you “Mortals” are ungratefull for what these vampires are doing for you, Get your ass up and help thee who turned you into tha son of saiton.
Vampires: Rockon, keep it going 😉
I personally believe in the vampire. Though I don’t believe all the myths about them ex: They sleep in coffins (They probably don’t even sleep), Melt in the light, and that crap about how driving a stake in there heart will kill them. For once somebody isn’t asking to be turned, I just want the info. If you do have the info please e-Mail me at btw1996@gmail.com, and please no faith ruiners, or rude people sayin “WTF YOUR A TARD”. I feel that someday this will be an important matter to humans, and it would be nice to know the basics ahead of time. If there ever is a Lycan/Vampire War of the Worlds, then humans will be involved too, no matter if we want to or not. If we know nothing, then we will all 1.) Die 2.) Join one of the two races, or 3.) Live in fear on the borders of the world that have been abandoned. I ask not to become one of you, I only ask of you to tell me about you, and please don’t take this the wrong way, I do not wish to offend anybody, even if you could crush me with a single tap, I still view us as equals, and you as “brethren”. Thank you for your time.
To answer everyone’s question, you will know when you’re a vampire. You can feel it in your system.
Sorry, Mandy, there’s no other option for changing.
If you can stand it and stay calm, you can go without blood for 2-3 weeks at a time. All vampires become strong when the change. As far as fangs go, I wouldn’t say it’s exactly like that. Our teeth are sharper for ripping and tearing, but not full out fangs.
You don’t have to go to the bathroom because you dont really digest the blood, so it doesn’t go all the way through your body. Your body uses the blood as energy. You don’t have to take a shower because you don’t sweat or anything. Only if you fall in a mud puddle. 😉 As far as I know there isn’t a spell to change you into a vampire. Besides, who would change you? I’ve been wrong before though. It’s rare, but I have. 🙂
WynterRayge and Alex,
You can just ask me you’re questions here, because it is anonymous.
For Everyone,
Jess <3
Well, it turns out, the legends are true. And by legends I mean the “kiss” that We (as I am now allowed to say.) bestow upon you. The vampire that “kissed” me was mearly gathering energy for an escape. However, after she turned me she was struck down by an enormous Lycan. It feels quite cold at first. I felt small stings of pain while I was something in between a Vampire and a human… Ugh, how will my girlfriend feel about this?
YOUR A VAMPIRE NOW BEN?????
watching the mistood life of you’re family’s mistolding grow beside you as i stay the same eripted my life in sevral ways, hurting the love of my life whilst i watched her grow to her death.
All i ask the saiton for is to give a life of a man back. to be a gentle man and read to love,
become a lover and live a mans life . do you mans not like love.
travel from 8counties to 7 and no love we speak of i dont encounter, if thee find a way of a ressurect towards my life, i be gratefull as a man shall be.
so i ask in mans to turn me to man a mortal i want be.
i be a mortal at age 17 then death came my way,
1450year it was. the sky was like as it is now, a war broke from thee deluctions and cathlicons, i a little scared boy stand mistood in the middle of this war. fear was the consult of this day, until a love pass by me by, but no love it was.it was a beast from the erupt of the impaler. i cry and cry as it bite my side, returning my soul, i live half dead for 3months as i walk across the frans bay.
i find a misterious man who stand waiting for me, i desime to her i am immortaly bleeding, nearly dead.
She lift’s a curse upon my stone which rise my heart to devotion.
i lived 1600years as i watch my family die and the love of my life i thought i no longer can live.
i wield a knife towards my heart, tearing the outerlayer’s of skin from the innerside of my hearts tissua.
i realise im immortal,untouchable.
I go out, travel accross the sea’s on find of this misterious Mans.
No trace of the man.
Day’s pass by and i reach 2009. watching people’s life go as mine was to go. bloodthirst seringes as im in need of blood.
fear of the man.
all i ask for is a man to make me a man as i used to be.
Im awaking ever night to a devistating life, alone for 200years.
sat in the corner of death and darkness.
hey, yess i want to be a vampire. i have herd all my life they arent real.well i want to prove them wrong. if you are a real “vamp”(i absolutly hate that word) then send me an e-mail or add me on yahoo or find me on myspace. it has been deaming about becoming a vampire(even befor twilight). i live in georgia so if you are a vampire then definatinly find me.
thanks
shelby k jones
my email is shelby.kristine.jones@gmail.com
my yahoo ia adon10394@yahoo.com
my myspace is shelby3panthers
i want this more than i want my life
life in devertion is life in semt.
read my words as i shall decome the heart of the innorcent, ring the blood around the soul of the heart!
tamta dalast shïka ne tasumers makit sakhen.
aderu kem shell geraon dalast shïka.
kem natsesh akara vull naull dalam
Why he does this is to decent his life to pure devistion, kill thee inorcent is what we no longer desire, it is love which overflows our hearts in many way’s.
i ask thee man to save his soul a space upon his remids life. watch and die with his love as man will do so aswell..
I’ll have everyone know that I will not just find someone and change them because they want to become a vampire. It is not right and a waste of human life. It is senseless to ask for such a thing as immortality.
Jess, yes agreeable that its senseless to ask a vampire to change one just because they want to if not the vampires will be really busy. but i dont believe that it will be a waste of human life. And jess , there are some personal questions and stuffs i would like to ask you in private.. ><”
and charles huntifff, i would like to talk to you in private too..
that is .. if your dont mind =S
jess what demote are you from?
I speak now as i could hunt thee!
Tell me upon your demotion and were thee is besed upon!
zámper iunt ésssse jess, Théé bé decóihed tánké lúe sáítón?
Do you not speak of these words?
i want to turn i desire to be a vampire i have some thing wronge with me i probably won’t live past 30 i am 14 and i dan’t want to can ca any one help me????
Hi jess.
I think i’m vamp… I have always been a night person. i have very sharp sences. I have a strong lust for blood (but i havent drunk yet) and i am incredibly strange. I am 12 years old. Please tell me what the hell i am.
i really really want to be a vampire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not just because of immortality or anything. but the whole concept of it is just awesome to me! hey jess if i give you my adress do you think you coukd change me??????????? if so please email me a starla.taylor31@yahoo.com. i am 12 years old but not naive and i know what i am asking for.