How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 😉
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Answer charles. please
meet me in london there are 43of us based here… we live under the saleway substation! i can meet you if you want. i’ll share my eternal soul upon the grave of you if you do come!!
Look. I am not sure if i can attend. I am in Australia. Very far. Hmmmm. I’m not sure. Email me. So we don’t have to talk in the precence of humans.
I’ll send a fellow colleague to come and collect you.
He’ll meet you somewere, do you have a mobile?
If your surrowing tell me.
I have to leave, midnight feast. i’ll be back in 2hours
3:01am
Look… I don’t know if you should send a colleague. I do have a family. But if you came and stayed for a bit that would be nice. I have so far lived on my own blood and i still eat human food. I am very new to the vampire thing. PLease talk to me. Please don’t come or send anybody here yet. Talk to me on cripleader@hotmail.com
if you have a webcam we can talk face to face. Please answer after you get back.
I have no eternal life. I am a vampire but i age.
Why do people think my story is crap? I did nothing but share it and people had questions to follow it. You know, each vampire is different. We all have different stories to tell and different vampires have different characteristics according to who changed them. Some vampires may be ice cold and some may be warm. Some may sleep and others may stay awake continuously. Did I do wrong by sharing my side of reality?
Because u copied it of twilight. -.-
I do have webcam.. maybe you can proof that your a akara and i’ll come and visit you!!
I think i am an Akara. I think. But i don’t know if you are.
I don’t know if i am akara. Please tell me charles. I do drink blood. but i’m not sure what Ankara looks like.
jess, i do not think your story is crap. can you please change me?!
Im charles huntifff’s close relitive we live under saitons scroll!
Im a night shifter.
i deduct dead bodys and burn them away using my blood as there substance!
To know if your a akara, cut yourself and slowly present you blood to cold water. it should deduct and change you molecules into a blue water substance.
Blood is needed to keep your semitrey breathing equal.
raising your adrelilin to a equal status.
Without it you cannot breath as the blood cells which conduct oxygen and carbon dioxide around your body keep you alive.
As akara cannot create these.
There cells combined with your’s makes you rather strong and reflectile.
If you don’t gain blood within 2 weeks your breathing will lower and eventually kill you.
blood cells die away after a shortage of time as your body creates thousands of antibodys using a substance called the derected cell system.
You can be resurected by another akara using there blood system.
If you havnt had blood withing 1month you’ll die and burn away.
you’ll burn away because your body’s derected cell system eats you.
can sumbdy plz change me into a vampire??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! plz????????????!!!!!!!!!!!
Well it seems like everyone here is saying ‘CHANGE ME!’. Well Duh!..I want to be changed too! But I am not here to beg and plead over the internet! I just want to talk….so hows everybody doing?
hey taylor, i’m doing pretty good
hey, tellmesomthing, i emailed you
Thats good shleby….ahh im listening to some pretty freakin amazing music xD…and vampires rock! hehe =)
haha i love music……oh and soccer….man do i love soccer oh and music…..vampires are the poo XD