How To Become a Vampire
I was looking at some search stats and noticed that this question (how to become a vampire?) was more common than you might expect. Every day, nearly 100 people were looking for a way to join the ranks of the stylish undead. “An interesting topic for a little tutorial”, I thought. Hence this post.
It seems the jury’s still out on how, exactly, vampires are created. Some sources cite ancient beliefs (mostly useless superstition), some insist on the popular bitten-by-vampire myth, and some claim that you simply can’t “become” a vampire if you’ve been born human. Maybe there’s no single way. So, instead of focusing on any of the aforementioned approaches, I’ll describe three common vampiric features that you can attain without any supernatural help.
Hypnotism (AKA Mesmerism)
“True” vampires have it easy – some mind-control skills are supposedly included in the whole dark revenant package, along with good looks and sharp teeth. But don’t despair, … wait, no, despair is cool. Ahem. As I was saying, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming are well within the reach of mere mortals, so you are free to learn and use it – even if your heart is still beating. Head over to Google or Amazon.com
To get an (optimistic) idea of what you might achieve, take a look at Derren Brown. He’s done some very impressive things (videos).
Night Vision
Excellent low-light vision is something I’ve always wanted. You can improve your night vision by using a few tricks, and science might eventually figure something out.
The most promising idea I discovered is NightWalking. The website has a heavy slant towards philosophy/spirituality that reminds me vaguely of Carlos Castaneda, but it also contains a detailed guide on improving your peripheral vision. As you might already know, in a situation when there’s very little light, peripheral vision is much more effective than central vision. Better peripheral vision = better night vision, so this is definitely something worth trying.
Dark and Mysterious
The “dark” part won’t be a problem – just pick something from the wide range of goth stuff available. Maybe invest in coloured contact lenses and/or appropriate makeup.
As for being mysterious, well… * nods and smiles knowingly *
Ah, okay, I’ll be more verbose. There’s a bunch of lame tutorials about “how to be mysterious” on the web, but they’re generally a crazy mix of the somewhat useful and the completely ridiculous. In my opinion the coveted “aura of mysteriousness” is a pinch of secrecy + a certain form of inner confidence. And it’s not the kind of confidence that lets you approach strangers and sing on stage. I’m talking about the kind that frees you from seeking external validation of your thoughts, actions and existence. This is something that very few people have, but it can be learned. Think.
Miscellaneous Thoughts
I suspect most people in the “how to become a vampire” crowd are looking for a shortcut to becoming cool (is that a pun?). That is understandable. My main reservation about this is that it’s an unlikely shortcut — and that most wanna-be’s don’t really understand what they’re asking for when they say “I want to be a vampire!”.
Personally, I consider the concept of blood-craving bona-fide vampires unrealistic. I haven’t seen any reasonable biological explanations for it, and the idea that “it’s magic!” doesn’t do it for me on this overall low-magic planet. Psychic vampirism is a different thing entirely, but there’s generally nothing glamorous about being unable to sustain your existence without becoming a (possibly unknowing) parasite. Okay, parasitism might not be the only way, but I won’t discuss that here.
Hey, this is probably the weirdest post on this site (so far) 😉
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lol softball is more my thing! and yes..vampire are the ‘poo’ hahah…but im listening to evanescence..do you have aim?
xD
lol i play softball but its not seson….no i dont have aim i have yahoo
I’m drinking blood right now. And no tom. i am sorry my friend but i am not an akara. I wish i was. But i still drink blood. i am no akara but i am a vampire.
Shelby i replied.
look theres a lot of talk out there that thy vampyres are not real. well thy are here to tell you that thy is real. i was born on novembir 16, 1912 and thy was fiftein when thy was chosen. thy are not many but are real. thy do not burn in sun. thy reason dont go out in sun is its bright and we have very sensitive eyes. thy dont live in dungons or dark holes. thy lives in houses just like mortals. thy only reason im telling everyone this is because its not believable and thy wont care. thy dont fly. thy is strong. thy dont drink blood. thy eats plants, and deer meat. thy cant stand the smell of human blood because thy once did drink. anyways if you have questions for thy then i may answer.
lixytrix since nobdy wantz 2 change me can you plz change me? nd my question is do u get more beautiful when u change nd is the transformation painful. thanx
lixytrix i do have a question upon you theory.
do think you know alot about our race… what speciey are you, i understand you like to change the way you live. actually we do drink blood due to the starve of the human devistion. if you are not complete about this. i am more then willing to meet you and prove to you my reality. but i can’t just let you leave knowing the presence of me! if you degree my status then we meet at a specific time. i don’t do morning/afternoon i only accept after 9:00pm.
i want proof on what you think you are and i’ll prove my presents.
also if anyone lives in london i’ll defonatly be able to meet you!
If you disagree to my presents and bring someone with you i will spawn you down, mark my words.!
unless you senselessly have a webcam. i am more then willing to show my presence on webcam. as long as you do too!
im a girl from sweden i cant talk so good english but can someone tell me how i can be a vampire .. Add my email broookenwings@hotmail.com ..
Charles Huntiff….are you immortal?
taylor, despite that why do you ask these questions…. i do live the life of a normal person. I kinda think my self as a lucky person. because in london it seems to be getting dark around about 4:50pm which enables me to work as a normal being!
Charles. What is your email.
I would gladly talk to you.
Please except my request.
Well before any more “vampires dont exist people” start getting on to this site again. If you dont believe in them dont come to the site. Two if you belive in any god or buddah or allah at all where is the proof in it. Exactly none its faith just like some of us have faith in vampires and mythological creatures and what not. And then three why would you even come here if you didnt have even an ounce of faith?
hello everybody. i’ve always been a huge vamp fan. everybody thought i was crazy; believing in you. but i’m proving them wrong cuz you do exist. i’d love to stay talk; email me at fantabulousemmers@gmail.com. please email me, i’d love to know more about your kind.
10:13PM
I have something to say!!!!!! That guy that was on earlier Lixytrix, well I believe that he is not a vampire… And you know why? Well he said that he was born November 16, 1912, and that he was fifteen… Well he sucks at spelling!!! If you became immortal at fifteen, and its now 2009, then you would of learned how to spell!!!!!!! I’m only 12, I suck at spelling, and I can spell better then him!! Thats just messed up!! And if THY did speek like that, then growing up in the 21st century would have taught he how to speek also!! now that thats out, I can have breakfast^^
Maddie, we are surrounded by a race of our own kind. speaking in the same tone of language as they do, why do you disagree with the content of our spelling!
I was brought up by a herd of akara’s in the aim of humanity, searching the the source of life!
It’s very rare you seeing us speaking to a man.
If we were to communicate with a man we would be disoriating the rules against our code of conduct.!
Which in words of speach we do not do!
If you do not understand me then you need to get to know us better!
Life is something you should cherish as i got mine thrown away 200years ago.
i’ve recently become obsessed with myself,
my friends have noticed recently that ive become abnormally pale, my eyes are the lightest blue possible with a really dark blue ring around them
my lips have become very red and ive recently become very distant from my friends, i feel like im putting them in danger and i feel liek they just dont understand me, i spend most my time in the house.
my hair is bright blonde and its completely natural,
thing is thoguh im a vegeterian, and havent eaten meat for an extremely long time.
people say im irresistably beautiful.
i listen to very classic music, and this is only recently ive started to enjoy this.
i was bitten by a dog abotu 7 months ago, and since then ive started this change
could this have anythgnto do with this?
im just open to any idea what this could be.
vampires’s are origanally domated by the female white mountain wolf.
as legend say’s, but any thoughts of this disease could be irrelement!
Try talking to charles huntiff or tellmesomething as they seem to be vampires
I really want to become a vampire.
I would do anything!
Please help me
Find me make me one of you!
I promise I won’t regret it!!
We all can be like friends and family.